The Emperor's New Clothes

My blog is not the only thing I have been neglecting. 

My exams ended a month ago. I spent the month prior to exams locked in my apartment living off of non-perishables and perfecting my mild scoliosis. I spent the month following exams catching up on the Internet and television (in their entirety), venturing outside only to indulge in nightly post-exam celebrations.  

Both pre and post-exam lifestyles meant no trips to the gym, an exclusive carb diet, and no time/energy to brush the satanic beast that has become my cat. Have you ever tried to simultaneously subdue and brush an enraged and blood thirsty mammal while feeling bloated and lethargic? It is no walk in the park.

However, last week I started work and was forced to emerged from my hedonism-coma. I was shocked to discover that Kitten had become very hungry (joking) and very matted (not joking). 

There really was no possible way for me to deal with it myself. I needed professional help. Kitten has been to the groomers once before. He got his nails cut, his ears cleaned, his teeth brushed and he got a bath and a brushing.

This time, I went a different route.

This, my friends, is the famed Lion Cut. It is not some cruel invention of mine; it is a tried and true haircut for longhair fancy cats, and if Kitten is one thing, it is a longhaired fancy cat.

I opted for the Lion Cut for three reasons:

1) Kitten was covered in mats and they would all need to be cut out anyway.

2) Warm weather is upon us. I don't have air conditioning, so when the temperature rises, Kitten gets very hot and there is nothing I can do to help him.

3) It looks hilarious.

He had it done on Wednesday and I am not sure how long it will last, but I am hoping it takes a while to grow back. I can now hold Kitten without accidentally inhaling stray hairs and I am guessing I won't need to sweep for loose balls of cat hair on a daily basis anymore.


It also turns out that underneath all of that fabulous fluff is a disgustingly wrinkled and flabby creature wearing boots.

I was surprised to find that, despite his ridiculous appearance, Kitten still goes about his day like normal.

Here, Kitten is cleaning the only fur he has left.

"What of it?" Kitten asks.

  Personally, I have been finding it quite difficult not to constantly chase after Kitten just to play with his recently unhidden flab and loose skin. It looks disgusting and feels velvety soft.

I hope you have enjoyed Kitten's haircut as much as I have.

My In-Bread Cat, Kitten

FIRST, let me start by saying that Kitten is doing much better!

Covering his pills in butter actually worked. He finished all of his medication last week and seems to be in pretty good health.

Now let me get to what I really want to talk about: Breading.

Breading cats has become a (relatively) recent internet craze, and being the fan of bandwagons that I am, I thought I should give it a go.

If you haven't heard of "breading", I would suggest a quick Google search of the term.

To put it simply (or more aptly, to put it in a way that channels Dr. Seuss): You cut a hole in a bread and then slide said bread on a cats head.

It was too difficult for me to choose my favourites, so here are all of the pictures I took of my attempt to "bread" Kitten.

Enjoy!

The fact that the bread was covering his whiskers seemed to have temporarily thrown off his balance.

He was unimpressed.

Then I decided to pull out some of his face-fur.

Also unimpressed.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that, because I can guarantee that Kitten did not... except for that brief movement, before I forced his flat little face though the bread, when he thought that he might actually get to eat the bread. Oh how wrong he was.

A Festive Affair

Happy Holidays, whatever your holiday may be!

Mine is Christmas and this year I thought I would take some more Christmas themed pictures of Kitten,  à la 2009 (sorry, this year it is just Kitten in the pictures).

Kitten did what he always does when you put things on him, he froze, assuming he would not be able to escape anyway. So it was pretty easy to get a lot of pictures in.

Part way through I moved him to the couch. He stayed in this position the entire time. I am pretty sure I could have moulded him any way I liked, but I was starting to feel a bit bad for him, so I wanted to make it quick.

After this gem below, I stopped. Kitten clearly hated his life but didn't understand that he could just shake the hat off and run away.

Anyway, I hope these depressing pictures of Kitten brought a little cheer to your day!

Happy Holidays!

His Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day

I would like to start this post off by apologizing for my absence. Right when I get you hooked on Kitten, I disappear! I know there is no excuse, but basically exams made me become a sad mole-creature that only sat in her apartment and ate dry things out of the cupboard. The good news is that I have recovered. As many of you know, yesterday was the LAST exam, so I can now move on with my life, and my Kitten blog.

Considering the season, I thought I would post a Christmas themed blog (though I am sure even if you do not celebrate Christmas you will still enjoy this post). 

Last year, Boyfriend and I decided that we should take a “family” photo and put it in the Christmas cards we sent to our friends and relatives. What follows is the best of the Kitten Christmas photo-shoot. Also, it is a bit difficult to see from the pictures, but Kitten is wearing a baby’s jumper that says “Santa’s Little Helper.”

Boyfriend is trying to get Kitten in position for the photo-shoot. Kitten is resisting the Christmas Spirit. 

We tried to take a nice picture... Boyfriend looks a bit creepy though.

Kitten, who was very unimpressed with the whole process, found a way to get his hat off. 

We soon gave up on trying to look nice. On a side note, this is the one we used in our Christmas cards.

Actually, we might have used this one. I feel like both are equally special.

We finally got a good one, but Kitten went and ruined it.

Over all the photo-shoot was a success.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Holiday and for those of you travelling home, I hope you have/had a safe and hassle free trip. I promise I will post again before Christmas, so please check back soon!