Study Sessions: Kitten's Best Friend

Good Afternoon Everyone! 

Last week I wrote about one of my friends who came over to study with me during exams and ended up tormenting Kitten (he liked it).  As promised, this week's post is about my study sessions with Kitten's best friend, Elena.

Kitten and Elena go wayyyyy back. All the way back to this past June (and for a cat, that's like, pretty far back). Elena came to cat-sit Kitten while   I was away over the summer (not to be confused with my other cat-sitter, Lindsey, who blogged about her Kitten-sitting experiences on her own blog: Happy or Hungry), and the two of them had a totally fab time and Kitten totally did not try to molest Elena or anything.

Suffice it to say, Kitten is very close with Elena.

Maybe too close.

Yes, it is true that Kitten makes it a personal goal to hump every visitor I have.  

But he always make an extra special effort with Elena.  

It's okay, Elena likes it.

In addition to being a phenomenal study-buddy for me and sexual outlet for Kitten, Elena also took it upon herself to get some Kitten grooming in during one of our study sessions. I believe she said, and I quote, "Oh my god! Look at his eyes! They are disgusting!!! That is so gross! Why don't you wipe his eyes!?!?! There is crust EVERYWHERE!!! OH GOD!!!" To which I replied, "Here's a tissue, knock yourself out."

Yes, Kitten's eyes get really goopey. Cat eye crust is just one of the many joys that come hand in hand with owning a designer pet. It's not that I don't ever wipe Kitten's eyes, it's just that they need to be wiped ALL THE TIME. It's ridiculous, like use your paws or something to do it yourself. Admittedly, sometimes the eye goop does get pretty bad.  But I always notice when it gets bad, because Kitten starts to wink at me. 

Despite Elena's kindness, Kitten was still a pretty big jerk, eating our food and lying right in the way of things.

What came next, I have a hard time defining. Elena called it "play", whereas I would classify it as "intent to harm". Elena started to "play" with Kitten and seemed to be under the impression that he was "having fun".  I'm pretty sure he just wanted her to stop and would have chewed her hand off to make that happen. But you can take a look at decide for yourself.

It started like this:

 

And progressed to this:

Here are the videos.  I think Kitten's eyes say it all.

I should say, Elena wasn't my only friend to visit during exams. The lovely Kasia also joined us.  This was Kasia's first time meeting Kitten. She warned me before hand that she was NOT a fan a cats.

When she first got to my apartment, she stopped at the door to take her boots off. Unbeknownst to her, Kitten was coyly watching her from around the corner.  She was none too impressed to look up to see some pervy cat watching her.

The first day she spent at my place, she did not warm up to Kitten. He was creepy, she wasn't into it. It probably didn't help his cause that he would spend long periods of time by her feet just staring at her, probably thinking, "Can you please move into a better position so that I can hump you?"  

However, the second day she came, Kitten somehow turned Kasia into, maybe not a Kitten-lover, but at least a Kitten-tolerator. Ultimately, a victory. 

In retrospect, I probably could have summed up this entire post in a few words:

Kitten still pervy.

Elena really, really loves him (and no one knows why).

Kasia doesn't, like, totally hate him anymore.

Then Kitten turned into an owl:























The End.

The Emperor's New Clothes

My blog is not the only thing I have been neglecting. 

My exams ended a month ago. I spent the month prior to exams locked in my apartment living off of non-perishables and perfecting my mild scoliosis. I spent the month following exams catching up on the Internet and television (in their entirety), venturing outside only to indulge in nightly post-exam celebrations.  

Both pre and post-exam lifestyles meant no trips to the gym, an exclusive carb diet, and no time/energy to brush the satanic beast that has become my cat. Have you ever tried to simultaneously subdue and brush an enraged and blood thirsty mammal while feeling bloated and lethargic? It is no walk in the park.

However, last week I started work and was forced to emerged from my hedonism-coma. I was shocked to discover that Kitten had become very hungry (joking) and very matted (not joking). 

There really was no possible way for me to deal with it myself. I needed professional help. Kitten has been to the groomers once before. He got his nails cut, his ears cleaned, his teeth brushed and he got a bath and a brushing.

This time, I went a different route.

This, my friends, is the famed Lion Cut. It is not some cruel invention of mine; it is a tried and true haircut for longhair fancy cats, and if Kitten is one thing, it is a longhaired fancy cat.

I opted for the Lion Cut for three reasons:

1) Kitten was covered in mats and they would all need to be cut out anyway.

2) Warm weather is upon us. I don't have air conditioning, so when the temperature rises, Kitten gets very hot and there is nothing I can do to help him.

3) It looks hilarious.

He had it done on Wednesday and I am not sure how long it will last, but I am hoping it takes a while to grow back. I can now hold Kitten without accidentally inhaling stray hairs and I am guessing I won't need to sweep for loose balls of cat hair on a daily basis anymore.


It also turns out that underneath all of that fabulous fluff is a disgustingly wrinkled and flabby creature wearing boots.

I was surprised to find that, despite his ridiculous appearance, Kitten still goes about his day like normal.

Here, Kitten is cleaning the only fur he has left.

"What of it?" Kitten asks.

  Personally, I have been finding it quite difficult not to constantly chase after Kitten just to play with his recently unhidden flab and loose skin. It looks disgusting and feels velvety soft.

I hope you have enjoyed Kitten's haircut as much as I have.