... and they came and they left tokens of their appreciation.

[UPDATE: Please read "Ex-" before any mention of "Boyfriend"]

After our "Sandwich Fail" we had to do something with that gigantic and broken loaf of bread. I considered picking off the Kitten hair and using it, but Boyfriend wasn't down. We decided that we would take it to a park near us and feed the squirrels, but we never got around to it. 

Then one day, I came home and saw the loaf of bread lying on our balcony. I asked Boyfriend why the bread was on the balcony and he said that he had put it there to attract pigeons so Kitten could watch them, since Kitten loved it so much the day the pigeon came.

I am pretty sure we are the only people to ever try to attract pigeons to our balcony. I always see balconies with plastic bags tied to them or screen covering the opening to keep pigeons out. Anyway, we wanted pigeons, and sure enough, we got pigeons.

Kitten absolutely loved it. Every time he heard that seductive cooing he would rush to the window to catch a glimpse. The pigeons that came were generally shy and would fly away when I came to the window, but I was able to snap a few pictures for you. 

At first I thought the pigeons were great. Kitten loved watching them and I was glad he had something to do during the day. Then one day I went out on the balcony and realized that the pigeons were leaving small donations for the bread that we were so generously providing. 

I was not too impressed, but Boyfriend seemed to think it was worth it for Kitten's happiness. 

Today, the bread is still there and the pigeons still come. But it's okay -- we don't really go out on the balcony much anyway, as I am sure you can tell from the cleanliness our the windows.

[UPDATE: The problem only got worse.  The balcony has become completely unusable due to the massive amounts of pigeon crap covering it.  They still come, even though the bread is long since gone.]

Return of the Kitten Blog

Hello Kitten-Lovers and everyone else who happens upon this blog after Googling: “kitten sandwich,” “how to tell a kittens gender” or “enema training.” 

Before I begin: to those of you reaching this site after typing in the above queries, I will let you know right now if you have reached this site in vain and need to return to Google or if you might want to consider poking around my site a bit. 

Kitten Sandwich:

While I don’t offer any advice on the art of making a Kitten Sandwich* (and in fact might need some advice myself), you will find a few pictures that might be of assistance. I myself have found that kittens tend to make the best sandwiches; cats are a little less cooperative.

* Please, don’t actually eat cats, just take a picture and let the poor thing go.

How to Tell a Kittens Gender:

While I haven’t written a blog on this, I think I can help* you: 


(1) Take your kitten in your lap and turn it so that its belly is facing you
(2) Now, pull the kitten’s back legs in opposite directions
(3) Do you see anything other than fur and the kitten’s bum?
(a) Yes – your kitten is a boy
(b) No – your kitten is not a boy

* I assume no responsibility for misdiagnosed genders.

Enema Training:

Sorry, I can’t help* you. Maybe talk to your family physician or nurse practitioner. Training yourself on Google might not be the best idea.

* I assume no responsibility for botched enemas.


Back to today’s blog…

Good news! I have emerged from my two month long Kitten blog hibernation. Unlike many of my globetrotter, adventure-seeking classmates (whom I am massively jealous of), I have not been travelling or doing anything remotely interesting enough to warrant such a hiatus. Instead, I have been hanging out at home, catching-up on some chick flicks and planning adventures with boyfriend that never make it past: “We should really go camping/learn to kayak/visit your family/go rock climbing/etc…” 

I suppose I am not being entirely truthful. Boyfriend and I did go to Bonnaroo in June (a kitten sitter was needed - thank you Andrea!), I joined an Ultimate Frisbee team and Boyfriend and I went to an absolutely fabulous four-day-long cottage party with friends we never get to see. )

But, I know no one comes to this blog to hear about my life, so on to the Kitten stories…

Since I have not written in quite a while, I have amassed a not insubstantial amount of stories about Kitten. Today I am going to do a brief re-cap of Kitten’s summer and will go into details about each story in the upcoming weeks. 

Here is what’s been going on...

Kitten loved his cat grass… for a while:

The pigeon returned, and he brought friends:

Kitten got a fountain. Turns out he may have been dehydrated:

We are taking another shot at potty training, but this time, we got help:

Keep checking back - I promise not to be such a laze-oid about Kitten blogging!

Sandwich Fail

You may remember from earlier posts, that when Kitten was a little kitten, Boyfriend and I thought it would be funny to put him in between some bread to make a Kitten Sandwich. Well last Saturday, Boyfriend and I were at the St. Lawrence Market; we saw a gigantic loaf of bread in the day-old section, and we knew what had to be done. We even decided that we would up the ante and add lettuce to this Kitten Sandwich.

Things did not go as anticipated. Our plan had been that Boyfriend would hold the bread and I delicately insert Kitten avec lettuce. Then I would snap a few infinitely adorable photos. 

Unfortunately, Boyfriend and I had not accounted for Kitten's massively increased strength. Kitten fought with all of his might to escape the Kitten Sandwich. In one of his classic fits of rage, Kitten broke free of the sandwich, severing the bottom of the loaf and splaying crumbs everywhere. I tried to convince Boyfriend that it would still work, but even I knew our shenanigans were up. 

Though, my heart had been set on a Kitten Sandwich and never one to quit, I tried to see if putting lettuce on him would be equally as funny. It wasn't. All it did was further upset both me and Kitten. 

 Kitten vs. Lettuce

In The Beginning...

Welcome to the very first Kitten post!

Instead of studying for Contract Law this morning, I thought I would start a little blog for Kitten. I am sure most people reading this will be well acquainted with Kitten already, but for those who aren't, here is a bit of Kitten's background:

Kitten was my Christmas present from Boyfriend two years ago, though we actually picked him up from the breeder on my birthday On the way over I had visions of returning home with one of those kittens in the toilet paper commercials. It was pretty tough choosing anyone of the kittens out of a Himalayan-Persian litter. They were all so adorable and cuddly and fluffy. And then, there was Kitten. He was alone and straggly and greasy, by far the ugliest of the bunch. We knew instantly that he was the one for us.

We got Kitten home and he immediately fell asleep trying to climb out of his litter box.

As my future posts will make clear, Kitten isn't exactly normal. But looking back on his kittenhood, I think Boyfriend and I might have had something to do with that. 

Our first idea as the proud new care-givers of a little living creature was to put it between two slices of bread and pretend it was a sandwich.

(This is also why we should never have children. We would probably do the exact same thing with a newborn child. Our view is that pretty much any small and adorable living thing needs to be put between bread slices at least once.)

I do promise you though that kitten was not harmed in anyway. He actually really enjoys bread... and cheese... and Nibs.

Kitten also had quite the walleyes as a kitten. He was our little Marilyn Monroe if you will.  

Kitten was in fact a very well tempered kitten. He never caused troubles, never whined and loved to sleep on the end of our bed.  The real trouble began when Boyfriend started play fight with him. I tried to explain that it was cute now, but when he grew up and developed real teeth and claws, it wouldn't be so fun. Of course Boyfriend did not listen and now we have a large and very agressive Kitten on our hands.

This is of course only a very brief introduction to Kitten. You'll get to hear all about adult Kitten in a bit, but for now I will leave you with a picture of Kitten's first bath. He didn't enjoy it.