Clementines and Pigeons

Happy December 2nd my friends!

Despite that it is home to both Christmas and my birthday, December is by far one of the most depressing months of the year for me.  Anyone who is still finishing some form of postsecondary education knows why December is a depressing month.  And for those of you who are unfortunate enough to have your birthday falling anywhere from... I would say today until the 21, are very aware of my pain. 

Even if you personally don't have any exams on or right after your birthday, and are free to go out and have some fun, you are pretty much guaranteed to be having a party of one.

Anyway, today I am not going to tell you anything new about Kitten.  I noticed that there are a couple of post that I wrote a while back that didn't get a lot of attention that I think are quite funny.  

If you missed them, take a look!

... and they came and they left tokens of their appreciation.

This is the story about how a loaf of bread from a failed attempt to make a sandwich out of Kitten turned my balcony into a mecca for pigeons.

Clementine: Tasty Treat or Enemy?

This is a video of Kitten eating a clementine.  He manages to pick it up with his paw to lick it.  It is weird.

[Fun Fact: On this day in 1969, the Boeing 747 made it's debute -- In case you cared]

While I'm Writing My Exam...

Okay, so something went wrong and I am having to post this now. But this is what I intended...

--------------------------

Guess what?

I am writing my exam RIGHT NOW.

That's right; I am in a classroom, writing my first exam of the term.

Now before you jump to the conclusion that I am the worst student ever to live, let me explain: This is a scheduled Kitten Blog, meaning that I wrote this on Sunday night, but had it scheduled to be published smack dab in the middle of my exam.

I thought I should use such a post to ponder how Kitten might spend his time while I am off spewing out more facts about corporations than anyone should ever really even know.

This is how I imagine his day is going:

Kitten will probably start off his day by lying on my bed, and rolling around a bit to make sure he gets his fur everywhere.

Afterwards, he'll probably go use the litter...

...and then have a drink from his Kitten Fountain.

Next, I imagine he will lie on the back of the couch, and distribute fur all over it too.

He will probably get bored of soft surfaces, like the bed and the couch, and move to harder ones, like the filing cabinet.

By now, he will want to go lie in...

... a couple of awkward positions.

And one more for good measure.

Kitten will then realize that he hasn't eaten in a while, and will go lie by his food bowls in hopes that his mere proximity to them will conjure the glory that is canned food. It won't. It never does.

After realizing that he can only eat dry food until my return, he will go and investigate the pigeons.

And then go back to the bed to get a bit more fur on it before I get home.

... and they came and they left tokens of their appreciation.

[UPDATE: Please read "Ex-" before any mention of "Boyfriend"]

After our "Sandwich Fail" we had to do something with that gigantic and broken loaf of bread. I considered picking off the Kitten hair and using it, but Boyfriend wasn't down. We decided that we would take it to a park near us and feed the squirrels, but we never got around to it. 

Then one day, I came home and saw the loaf of bread lying on our balcony. I asked Boyfriend why the bread was on the balcony and he said that he had put it there to attract pigeons so Kitten could watch them, since Kitten loved it so much the day the pigeon came.

I am pretty sure we are the only people to ever try to attract pigeons to our balcony. I always see balconies with plastic bags tied to them or screen covering the opening to keep pigeons out. Anyway, we wanted pigeons, and sure enough, we got pigeons.

Kitten absolutely loved it. Every time he heard that seductive cooing he would rush to the window to catch a glimpse. The pigeons that came were generally shy and would fly away when I came to the window, but I was able to snap a few pictures for you. 

At first I thought the pigeons were great. Kitten loved watching them and I was glad he had something to do during the day. Then one day I went out on the balcony and realized that the pigeons were leaving small donations for the bread that we were so generously providing. 

I was not too impressed, but Boyfriend seemed to think it was worth it for Kitten's happiness. 

Today, the bread is still there and the pigeons still come. But it's okay -- we don't really go out on the balcony much anyway, as I am sure you can tell from the cleanliness our the windows.

[UPDATE: The problem only got worse.  The balcony has become completely unusable due to the massive amounts of pigeon crap covering it.  They still come, even though the bread is long since gone.]

Return of the Kitten Blog

Hello Kitten-Lovers and everyone else who happens upon this blog after Googling: “kitten sandwich,” “how to tell a kittens gender” or “enema training.” 

Before I begin: to those of you reaching this site after typing in the above queries, I will let you know right now if you have reached this site in vain and need to return to Google or if you might want to consider poking around my site a bit. 

Kitten Sandwich:

While I don’t offer any advice on the art of making a Kitten Sandwich* (and in fact might need some advice myself), you will find a few pictures that might be of assistance. I myself have found that kittens tend to make the best sandwiches; cats are a little less cooperative.

* Please, don’t actually eat cats, just take a picture and let the poor thing go.

How to Tell a Kittens Gender:

While I haven’t written a blog on this, I think I can help* you: 


(1) Take your kitten in your lap and turn it so that its belly is facing you
(2) Now, pull the kitten’s back legs in opposite directions
(3) Do you see anything other than fur and the kitten’s bum?
(a) Yes – your kitten is a boy
(b) No – your kitten is not a boy

* I assume no responsibility for misdiagnosed genders.

Enema Training:

Sorry, I can’t help* you. Maybe talk to your family physician or nurse practitioner. Training yourself on Google might not be the best idea.

* I assume no responsibility for botched enemas.


Back to today’s blog…

Good news! I have emerged from my two month long Kitten blog hibernation. Unlike many of my globetrotter, adventure-seeking classmates (whom I am massively jealous of), I have not been travelling or doing anything remotely interesting enough to warrant such a hiatus. Instead, I have been hanging out at home, catching-up on some chick flicks and planning adventures with boyfriend that never make it past: “We should really go camping/learn to kayak/visit your family/go rock climbing/etc…” 

I suppose I am not being entirely truthful. Boyfriend and I did go to Bonnaroo in June (a kitten sitter was needed - thank you Andrea!), I joined an Ultimate Frisbee team and Boyfriend and I went to an absolutely fabulous four-day-long cottage party with friends we never get to see. )

But, I know no one comes to this blog to hear about my life, so on to the Kitten stories…

Since I have not written in quite a while, I have amassed a not insubstantial amount of stories about Kitten. Today I am going to do a brief re-cap of Kitten’s summer and will go into details about each story in the upcoming weeks. 

Here is what’s been going on...

Kitten loved his cat grass… for a while:

The pigeon returned, and he brought friends:

Kitten got a fountain. Turns out he may have been dehydrated:

We are taking another shot at potty training, but this time, we got help:

Keep checking back - I promise not to be such a laze-oid about Kitten blogging!

The Day the Pigeon Came

The other day I was sitting on the couch reading, when I heard an odd noise. I turned to see what it was and saw Kitten, perched on the back of a chair, hunched over, shaking violently and emitting weird glottal sounds. Out of all of Kitten's oddities (eg. growling when someone knocks at the door, meowing at the sound of the cheese wrapper), this was a new one.

For a moment I thought he might be ill. I got up to see if he was okay and realized that he was staring intently out the window. I followed his unwavering gaze onto the rail of our balcony where a single pigeon was perched. 

Since we live on the 10th floor, we don't often see anything on our balcony. This pigeon however, had made it up and was quite obviously taunting Kitten with her coy head turns and nonchalant stare. 

I cannot be sure if Kitten wanted to eat the pigeon, play with the pigeon or simply introduce himself to the pigeon. Whatever his intent, his inability to act was causing tremors and involuntary throat sounds. 

I tried to capture the sounds on video, by my camera couldn't pick them up. I did however take several excellent pictures and video footage of Kitten and the pigeon.

Enjoy!

As a side note:

In all of these pictures if you look carefully you can see the tape that Boyfriend and I need put around our balcony doorframe to keep Winter out of our apartment.